Orchids

[Beacherjosh]

your 1.01 edit
Delicious morning lips,
served like poppy seed
tea on Sundays,
when gray skies kept us
inside doing crosswords
until three o’clock.

This 1st stanza, like others were saying, confuses me.

I can remember,
when a rainy day
meant an island getaway; ----I like the rhyme it really solidifies the fluidity of this piece.
our bed adrift at sea;
when love was raw -----The word "raw" seems to harsh and pointed and takes away from the fluidity in my opinion.
and yielding as
April's lithe sun.

I thought I’d
buy some orchids
for you on your birthday, --- I like that both 3rd lines rhyme. No reasons why I like it, I just do.
so we could watch them
wither as we laughed
October into oblivion. --- it ended in a very abrupt sounding way. the last line has a completely different tone than the rest of the
fluid poem. I notices some other people said they liked it and felt it was like a cliff hanger, but I did not enjoy it, and
It being the last line, took away from how I viewed the poem.