Meddle

[billy]

with the others on the cap remarks (though it's not a rule it doesn't help me with the read. ) short a poems need more imagery or else they can become very weak. the first line starts the poem off really well and then it dies with each new line.

Meddle

You and I are as momentaneous as ripples in water if that's a new word i love it.

Not knowing where we start

Or we end the line above and this are too cliche for such a short poem, make every line count

Drifting along crossing paths

Where is the line these last two lines are in the same vein as the previous two. be original, use an image/smile/metaphor etc.

Between you and I ?