A Crow Reincarnated edit 0.000001 billy

[tectak]

Look to the crow, hung spiked on the wire, wind torn and tied. <- reminds me of WW1,  the men hanging on the barbed wire out in no-man's-land / good intention!
Dead by the lead that flew to his calls,
blooding black feather, searing inside; <-'blooding',  'searing inside' -- hyperbole
watch as he falls.

Look to the body that swings from the tree, hollow and dried. <- 'hollow and dried' as well

and the rest... Lord Byron can get away with this, so can Monty Python (dead parrot sketch),
but it doesn't work with 'reasonable' verse.  Additional modifiers, especially extreme ones,
backfire; it's the 'crying wolf' principle. The reader's senses are numbed and when you really
need to be extreme, it falls flat.

Death dealt by demons, holy men all,
whose merciless gods walk by their side.
Face to the wall.

Look to the crow that died without cause, as others will, too.
Croak into blackness, silence the dawn,
keep secret beliefs; next it is you
to be reborn.

tectak
2014

Ray, you are a bastard and I thank you for it. Brings me back to earth with a sigh. Too much analysis causes paralysis. It is my petard.
Best,
tectak
Oh, and on cheese:
Cheese pleases me and seizes me with seasoning
like salt umami or origami
or should that be oregano
there's so much choix I just don't know
but Parmesan and  Livarot cause borborygmi and so
does Tom. Sliced up Edam, Port Salut, Emmenthal
and Danish Blue are fairly safe but Camembert,
or even Brie, will halitosify your day though
not as  lasting as a dry and very well warmed lactic chevre,
which hangs upon your  breath forever
faintly hinting of goat's udders.
Damn I can't think what the other
one is called...Oh yes, it's mozzarella.
Cheese. Say no more.
Say cheese.