11-27-2014, 10:18 AM
Keith,
This is a nice idea for a poem.
For me in the first two stanzas it paints the picture of a mechanic and possibly a dirt bike/enduro racer, as that is who uses two stroke engines. However by S4 he is being identified as a biker. That is a little confusing, especially as S3 which was a neat idea failed to carry much information.If you are going to say "biker to mod", you don't really need to say "A to B". "He burned his brightest into mirrored chrome," His brightest what? I really don't have a clue. Nice ending, the use of "pillion" combined with "screamer" and "fishtail" paints a very sensual image.
Dale
This is a nice idea for a poem.
For me in the first two stanzas it paints the picture of a mechanic and possibly a dirt bike/enduro racer, as that is who uses two stroke engines. However by S4 he is being identified as a biker. That is a little confusing, especially as S3 which was a neat idea failed to carry much information.If you are going to say "biker to mod", you don't really need to say "A to B". "He burned his brightest into mirrored chrome," His brightest what? I really don't have a clue. Nice ending, the use of "pillion" combined with "screamer" and "fishtail" paints a very sensual image.
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.