The Bumper Sticker

[vagabond]

Our neighbor, Jeff, is sitting out,
while drizzle falls, he leans and stares
as water gurgles down the spout
beside the window I look though.            why "though?"

The man has sat there now for years,
not more than fifty feet away.
But still, my mother has her fears…
he talks and laughs up to the sky.

i would change that around because i think it would clarify the fears of the subject´s mother.
"not more than fifty feet away
he has been living there for years
talks and laughs up to the sky
and my mother has her fears."


He brings his two pet snakes outside,
and lets them slither on a branch
he found on Assateague and tied
up in the roof over his porch.     porch to branch, you´re a master of nearly near-rhyme just like me.

When it stops raining, I’m sure he’ll
be working on his Cherokee,
which wears a crackling, but still
there, “Veteran” bumper sticker.         this "still there" doesn´t seem enough to describe that bumper sticker since it´s the solution of the whole poem.
maybe you could write
which wears a crackling, but proudly-charging
"veteran" bumper sticker.
 replace "Proudly-charging" with any adjective you prefer, it´s just an example.

i like your poem.
this site requires me to give critic, so I try, however inadequate i am doing so.
i excuse for anything non-helpful but i still hope some of it is useful.