Orchids

[ellajam]

Hi, I'm enjoying this, some notes below.

Delicious!

Your morning lips
like poppy seed tea,
served on Sundays,
when gray skies kept us
inside doing crosswords
until three o’clock.
Some confusion on what's being served, the lips today or teas on Sundays, could be clarified with comma change, or not.

Remember when
we played hooky,
and made love among
the looming oaks
of Cibolo Creek?
I appreciate this giving the relationship age but I think that lazy Sundays already did that.

I thought I’d
buy some orchids
on your birthday,
so we could watch them
wither as we laugh
October away.
I like wither vs laugh, October is a time of withering and time spent watching it together a gift.

Hope this helps.