11-23-2014, 03:03 PM
This has potential it really does.
I dont mean this in a negative way but the quality of the poem wanes fro. The beginning.
the first paragraph is amazing wouldn't touch it except to make it flow better.
When you first establish your rhyme scheme you should generally stick to it expect for brining attention to things
The closest thing the second paragraph has to a rime is "prints" and "limbs" which are in the right place to carry the wcheme but need to actually ryhme.
Again same problem in third paragraph I can only assume your trying to ryhme wounds with grounds. This really doesnt work.
I dont mean this in a negative way but the quality of the poem wanes fro. The beginning.
the first paragraph is amazing wouldn't touch it except to make it flow better.
When you first establish your rhyme scheme you should generally stick to it expect for brining attention to things
The closest thing the second paragraph has to a rime is "prints" and "limbs" which are in the right place to carry the wcheme but need to actually ryhme.
Again same problem in third paragraph I can only assume your trying to ryhme wounds with grounds. This really doesnt work.