11-15-2014, 11:31 AM
I see you went for the CDDCDD. I've never seen that variable done before, but there are alot of them so I wouldn't dare say it is wrong, I'm just used to CDDCDC for the C-D-D variable. I'm no expert on sonnets, though, you are...and I've think you scared most readers off just by the mere mention of Petrarchian in the title.
As to the actual sonnet; in the last line you have a space before your comma. And there's not much of a volta in L9. Otherwise the damn thing is perfect iambic pentameter throughout...strong iambs with no funny business of trochees and such to throw the simple reader (like me) off.
I always admire your sonnets and yet hesitate to comment on them due to my inability to write one. So you already stand on a pedestal to me!
cheers!
mel.
As to the actual sonnet; in the last line you have a space before your comma. And there's not much of a volta in L9. Otherwise the damn thing is perfect iambic pentameter throughout...strong iambs with no funny business of trochees and such to throw the simple reader (like me) off.
I always admire your sonnets and yet hesitate to comment on them due to my inability to write one. So you already stand on a pedestal to me!
cheers!
mel.