Spider (content)

[GerryMattia]

First Edit

Slick with flame
my flesh and sleet
her breast, bereft
sharp nipple, sleek.

Spider sleeps
And drags her feet
While toenail creeps
I suck, she shrieks.

Mouth to flume
Spider swoons
I rip and lick
our spasm, tick.

Tock goes the clock
I spit up flies
little Spider dies,
as toenail dries.

Original Version
Slick with pain
flesh and sleet
her breast, bereft
sharp nipple, sleek.

Spider sleeps
and drags her feet
while Toenail creeps
I suck, she shrieks.

Mouth the Moon
her spider swoons
rip and lick
our spasm, tick

Tock goes the clock
Spit up flies
Little Spider dies
A twitch, blood-eyes.

"You have to pick your battles" - as a poet, you leave the last bit you re-wrote in your journal and try hard not to confess to the world you didn't get it right the first time. "Mouth to flume" was a first time read for me -- it's a good line.