Next morning

[Keith]

Hi Leanne
I like how dirty and gritty you make this feel with a few well chosen words, you reveal the sordid nature of the poem in a trail of words that compound each image taking the reader deeper into detail. I have some comments below.

Sunlight glinting on the sink reveals
there is no minty goodness, minty goodness I guess could be a local advert for freshness or fresh breath  but it feels a bit off to me goodness implies nourishment?  
only remnants of another evening to regret,
sad little crumbs of smudged lipstick, worn
elastic, despair. These two lines are packed with feeling and image, not sure you need 'smudged' worn elastic (just great) implies everything the reader needs to see

Bunny came from a crowded burrow, I like the metaphor it lets the reader feels sorry for the Bunny and give us insight as to why the Bunny is there in the first place low self esteem, very well done.
no distinguishing features,
just youth and shyness
that lied to her loins.  Nobody wants
you in your dull fur; shave, polish,
advertise. this step through is quite controlling almost instructive (if that's the right word)

Pixels look pretty.  Smooth, enhance,
engage.  Old dogs become wild wolves,
easy to please with flesh. very true..too true

Bright smiles cannot shine
under hands that grope, sweat,
turn to claws and 
snap! the contrast of the two images is powerful and well done

Bunny brushes away the taste 
of the dog that whimpers
until it stops. no brushing will take away the taste of this ending.


Thanks Leanne, very much enjoyed the lesson.