Teddy Bear Knight

[paranoid marvin]

I wrote this one for my niece.  She saw that picture floating around of the child in his bed sleeping and the teddy bear fending off the monster and this came to mind.  Hope you like it.

Teddy Bear Knight

The nightlight making a bubble of light
Keeping away things that bump in the night
An ethereal cloak holding you tight
To help fight off the creature’s might.

In the world of dreams monsters hunt and roam
Looking for a child’s mind to call home.
Through the child’s fears and frights they will comb.
Not realizing no kid goes it alone.

For by their side a champion will stand
Wielding a sword forged by might in their hand.
With blue glass eyes, fur the color of sand
Ancient leather armor aged so tan.

A Teddy Bear Knight to defend his home
His shield holds off the monsters mighty blow
Sending a message all monsters should know
That no kid will ever go it alone.

If it's poetry for a child (or for those of us who still wish we were!) I would use rhyming couplets to create a strong rhythm

So at the minute you have 10,6,9,8  10,9,9,11 in syllables in your first two stanzas, making it a little uneven. I would also say that a using the the same rhyming word in the same stanza for all four lines doesn't help to bring out the rhythm.


So how about in the second stanza


In the world of dreams monsters hunt and roam                  --------------------    In lands of dream where monsters roam     (I much prefer 'land' to world')      
Looking for a child’s mind to call home.                                --------------------    A child's mind is a welcome home                  
Through the child’s fears and frights they will comb.           ----------------------      And though they seek to fear and fright
Not realizing no kid goes it alone.                                    ------------------------        They've not yet met a certain knight  (sorry had to change this line quite a bit to make it fit)

So it now has 2 rhyming couplets of the same length, and more emphasis on the rhyme with an AB,AB rhyming style.

By the way I love your poem, and the reason for you creating it!