Anxiety (mwaba don)

[tectak]

Blood throbbing over the foreheads temples,
like fluctuating electric current
causing irritating flickering light,
nerving palpitations frightfully arise.
Sparing no effort to Stay focused,
like magnolia trees swayed by strong
winds blossom in late winter signaling spring,
through my abilities my fears are climbed.
Holding on to self for the calmness to befall,
like a net cast in deep waters laying in wait for
the swimming fishes, tapping my feet on patience
and my deed’s cast in faith till the wait pays off.
Anxious moment after anxious moment
cleansing my fears and growing in confidence.

Hi mwaba,
Look, you really MUST get your english as she is spoke in order. This effort is quite hopelessly fabricated with words, phrasing and construction a complete dog's breakfast. Your thoughts burgeon. What you WANT to say seems interesting but what you ACTUALLY write is complicated by tortuous, unfathomable language. So complete is the effect that it seems deliberate.
Just one stanza:
Holding on to self for the calmness to befall, befall is a predictive word describing "how" something occurs. Alliteratively you would be better off with "come" because that is exactly what you want to say. Conditionality in the first words makes for a  difficult  metaphor to follow. You have given the reader an "exact" description of "why" you are "holding on to (my) self", the condition of static waiting is because you are calming down. Yes. OK. ..but what part of this very simple and clear observation is made clearer by bringing in nets, deep water, fishes, swimming ( as opposed to pogo-sticking?), foot tapping, cast cast, faith and finality. Metaphor should clarify, not obscure.
like a net cast in deep waters laying in wait for
the swimming fishes, tapping my feet on patience the net is tapping your feet? Your deeds have ownership of cast?
and my deed’s cast in faith till the wait pays off
In fact, this is an overall problem. Clean out the pseudo-poetic peregrinations and walk straight. The net metaphor is beautiful in concept but you have smothered it.
I hold myself together; I know the calm will come.
Still as a net in deep water, patiently I lie and wait
for the fishes to appear. Then I might recapture faith
in this my  cast. My deeds will be redeemed.......
or something. Your poem.
the swimming fishes, tapping my feet on patience
and my deed’s cast in faith till the wait pays off.
The last two lines are not a sentence. This seems fitting.
Please try to read out loud what you have written. If it sounds fine to you, rewrite it.
Best and with encouragement,
tectak