11-13-2014, 04:07 AM
How is "Sparing no effort to Stay focused"
like
"magnolia trees swayed by strong winds blossom in late winter signaling spring..."
First it is a run on sentence, second, it makes no sense.
You have taken something that is fairly simple, not to mention over analyzed in literature, and made it overly complex, and within that complexity seemingly lost your train of thought. This is not uncommon in neophyte poets, it is the equal in dating of trying too hard which leads to all kinds of missteps. As you know what you mean it to mean, you project that meaning onto the writing, but that is a fabrication only in your mind. Should you set this aside for several months and then return to it, I think you would wonder at just what the hell you were trying to say. This is not uncommon. Do not be discouraged, but be willing to take the feedback and learn from the mistakes. Try something with less embellishment, even if it is common place, just for practice. In fact take everything as practice. We never write anything good if we set out to write something grand.
best of luck,
Dale
like
"magnolia trees swayed by strong winds blossom in late winter signaling spring..."
First it is a run on sentence, second, it makes no sense.
You have taken something that is fairly simple, not to mention over analyzed in literature, and made it overly complex, and within that complexity seemingly lost your train of thought. This is not uncommon in neophyte poets, it is the equal in dating of trying too hard which leads to all kinds of missteps. As you know what you mean it to mean, you project that meaning onto the writing, but that is a fabrication only in your mind. Should you set this aside for several months and then return to it, I think you would wonder at just what the hell you were trying to say. This is not uncommon. Do not be discouraged, but be willing to take the feedback and learn from the mistakes. Try something with less embellishment, even if it is common place, just for practice. In fact take everything as practice. We never write anything good if we set out to write something grand.
best of luck,
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.