11-12-2014, 08:12 PM
This poem invoked thoughts of accountability...taboos...and skeletons in the closet for me. 
Succinct and well written I think.
I think you could rearrange/tweak the first couple lines to introduce this faceless one to the reader a bit more assertively. Also the last line seems unnecessarily long. It seems to disrupt the spirit of the succinct flow that you maintain throughout the rest of the poem. Modest suggestions are below.
I am the faceless one. <--- 'I have no name. I am no one.'
I have no name. I am no one. <--- 'Behold I am the faceless one.'
But I know the secrets
you thought you hid.
I see the deeds
you never did.
I hear the words
you dare not speak.
I think the thoughts
you fear to seek.
I’ll be your judge
on that day to come.
I'm taking names,
I'm leaving none.
So remember me:
I am the faceless one. <--- 'the faceless one.'
Succinct and well written I think. I think you could rearrange/tweak the first couple lines to introduce this faceless one to the reader a bit more assertively. Also the last line seems unnecessarily long. It seems to disrupt the spirit of the succinct flow that you maintain throughout the rest of the poem. Modest suggestions are below.
I am the faceless one. <--- 'I have no name. I am no one.'
I have no name. I am no one. <--- 'Behold I am the faceless one.'
But I know the secrets
you thought you hid.
I see the deeds
you never did.
I hear the words
you dare not speak.
I think the thoughts
you fear to seek.
I’ll be your judge
on that day to come.
I'm taking names,
I'm leaving none.
So remember me:
I am the faceless one. <--- 'the faceless one.'