11-11-2014, 03:23 AM
(11-09-2014, 12:02 PM)Erthona Wrote:I will have to play devil's advocate on this one. aside from the games with the white space which i have never cared for and the subject matter which is a little tired the skill with verse would match pretty much anyone on this board. The meter is spot on. There are no true cliches. I heard someone balk about "said goodbye" but if we can have "unsaid goodbye" we can certainly have a "said goodbye" and the concept, while new, fits perfectly to the content - a relationship that ended without closure. The third strophe is the weakest and it is definitely suggestive of more pubescent writing but you can certainly find worse on this board.
Khloé Kardashian writes a poem
Like time suspended,
a wound unmended—
you and I.
We had no ending,
no said good-bye.
For all my life,
I’ll wonder why.

