11-10-2014, 04:13 AM
ray,
The whole reason we're here is to get fresh eyes and opinions on what we write. My writing is never convoluted or unclear to ME... but of course not. The point of posting here is to make our pieces better, and if it is unclear or convoluted to others, then there is an issue.
Of course if it's just one person, maybe it's him/her and their lack of brightness or what have you.
Here that's not the case.
There was much to make me smile in this poem-- the reoccurring themes, the jaunty rhythm, the clever story-- but not enough to overlook its faults. And what's the point of posting a poem in the Serious Workshopping forum of a poetry workshop if it's not to have the poem's faults pointed out?
I agree with all the critiques above, but I am hesitant to add anything else, wondering what the point is, seeing your reaction to the other comments.
That is all.
-jc
The whole reason we're here is to get fresh eyes and opinions on what we write. My writing is never convoluted or unclear to ME... but of course not. The point of posting here is to make our pieces better, and if it is unclear or convoluted to others, then there is an issue.
Of course if it's just one person, maybe it's him/her and their lack of brightness or what have you.
Here that's not the case.
There was much to make me smile in this poem-- the reoccurring themes, the jaunty rhythm, the clever story-- but not enough to overlook its faults. And what's the point of posting a poem in the Serious Workshopping forum of a poetry workshop if it's not to have the poem's faults pointed out?
I agree with all the critiques above, but I am hesitant to add anything else, wondering what the point is, seeing your reaction to the other comments.
That is all.
-jc
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The howling beast is back.
The howling beast is back.