11-07-2014, 06:07 PM
I really like the twist. The rest of it all seemed to be a rather convoluted set-up. If there is a rhyme scheme it is beyond me, so slant it isn't recognizable to these old eyes, and if it isn't rhymed I'm not sure why you are placing words in the order you are...(talk like yoda, you do)
It's a very solid story, and I love the play on boners/bitches/master v slave in the sexual realm. I only object on the sentence structure, and I'm not sure how to critique that part without "re-writing" which is something I avoid completely.
Sorry I can't be more help, dear.
mel.
It's a very solid story, and I love the play on boners/bitches/master v slave in the sexual realm. I only object on the sentence structure, and I'm not sure how to critique that part without "re-writing" which is something I avoid completely.
Sorry I can't be more help, dear.
mel.