after the flood (edited)

[ellajam]

Hi, cj, As a reader who only gets a bit of the references and depth of the poem from reading the critiques others have posted, your edit makes a big difference to me. I am reading on the surface, but enjoying it here, it's still rich on this level. The continuity of stream of consciousness pulled the poem together for me. Nice edit, thanks for the read.

edit #1:


after the flood


There was nowhere left 
for her to turn,
after the rains
washed him away.
 
So she lay down 
upon the softened meadow,
lost in a stream of consciousness.
 
She tucked herself in
between the sheets of Ulysses
and dreamt with both eyes open,
munching lotus fruit and flowers
as the river widened its mouth.




original:


after the flood

There was nowhere
left for her to turn,
right after the rains
came and washed him away.
 
So she lay down
upon the softened meadow,
lost in a stream
of consciousness.
 
She tucked herself in
between the sheets of Ulysses
and dreamt with both eyes open,
munching lotus fruit and flowers
as the river widened its mouth.