after the flood (edited)

[cjchaffin]

after the flood

There was nowhere
left for her to turn,
right after the rains
came and washed him away.
 
So she lay down
upon the softened meadow,
lost in a stream
of consciousness.
 
She tucked herself in
between the sheets of Ulysses
and dreamt with both eyes open,
munching lotus fruit and flowers
as the river widened its mouth.

Hi cjchaffin
As a reader I wasn't sure I fully understood the message, I got the impression of loss and not wanting to face it, but there needs to be more clues for the reader to identify with. Who is he why did she give up (give herself to the river). I enjoyed the images used in the last Stanza an the link up with munching and mouth. dreaming with both eyes open gave me the impression of a person almost catatonic and the lotus fruit I thought were used to dull the senses. Just a thought but you could start with the last stanza and build on the poem from there. I hope some of this helps I would like to read a fleshed out edit. Best Keith

hi Keith,

i know this one is a little abstract. the clue is in the stream of consciousness and the Ulysses reference, but if readers aren't familiar with James Joyce, they probably won't get much out of this, and that's ok.

i'm glad you liked the last stanza, though!