11-05-2014, 07:23 AM
Hey CJ,
I didn't like the word "right" in line 3. After a few reads I wondered if lines 1 and 2 might be better after 3 and 4. So it might read...
After the rains came
and washed him away,
there was nowhere left
for her to turn. --- Just a thought
Other than that I adored S3. Made it well worth the read.
Thanks for sharing. -Paul
I didn't like the word "right" in line 3. After a few reads I wondered if lines 1 and 2 might be better after 3 and 4. So it might read...
After the rains came
and washed him away,
there was nowhere left
for her to turn. --- Just a thought
Other than that I adored S3. Made it well worth the read.
Thanks for sharing. -Paul