11-02-2014, 04:44 AM
There are some nice lines, I think
the river poops it's forlorn depths, - its, not it's
Mare laughed at metaphors for moons,
and there are others. The poem flows along nice and rhythmic for a time, then suddenly changes tempo, and not to good effect. As for meaning and narrative thread, it's beyond me and I suspect it's beyond others too. Not that poems have to have meaning, of course, but when its meaning isn't immediately apparent
one is apt to wonder whether, as Tectak suggests, it's just utter nonsense.
the river poops it's forlorn depths, - its, not it's
Mare laughed at metaphors for moons,
and there are others. The poem flows along nice and rhythmic for a time, then suddenly changes tempo, and not to good effect. As for meaning and narrative thread, it's beyond me and I suspect it's beyond others too. Not that poems have to have meaning, of course, but when its meaning isn't immediately apparent
one is apt to wonder whether, as Tectak suggests, it's just utter nonsense.
Before criticising a person try walking a mile in their shoes. Then when you do criticise that person, you are a mile away.... and you have their shoes.