11-01-2014, 10:32 AM
Get rid of contractions for whole nouns…it's lazy writing (e.g. The erosion HAS cracked away the cliffs). Past participle of break is "have BROKEN"…use it when it's called for. If it doesn't work w/your rhyme scheme, find a different word or rhyme scheme. If you want my sympathy in the poem than you have to earn it. Mine was gone after the first four lines w/the mistakes that are there.
I appreciate what you are trying to do and I actually kind of like the poem, but I was gone quickly and didn't really care b/c you didn't in your presentation.
Also…"teen's" does not need an apostrophe. It is a plural, not a possessive. Do like the image "shirk the stars"…nice.
71degrees
I appreciate what you are trying to do and I actually kind of like the poem, but I was gone quickly and didn't really care b/c you didn't in your presentation.
Also…"teen's" does not need an apostrophe. It is a plural, not a possessive. Do like the image "shirk the stars"…nice.
71degrees