December 17, 5:30am

[superfluid]

December 17, 5:30am

A voice from upstairs
says "good morning"  
and it will be.

Glide up stairs,
say "good morning"  
and it will be.  

Hear "I love you"  
and "I missed you".

Be loved and love  
clean flannel sheets and  
and a favorite mug.

Be loved and love  
love and "I love you"  
and "I missed you"  
and "good morning"  
and it will be.

This screams song lyrics to me. Maybe it's the repetition of the motif "And it will be" (which I think you should capitalize the "A" in these lines).

Be loved and love
Clean flannel sheets
and a favorite mug

Would be a great bridge to a song. I can almost hear it on pop radio. Throw in a reference to morning love making after a night out at the club and this is a top 40 hit.

The final stanza I would argue doesn't add anything new. I would remove it or rewrite it---if you could add more imagery like the clean flannel sheets phrase that fit in with this great feeling of warmth and comfort and loving environment I think it would work very well. What's in that mug, for example?