10-31-2014, 03:59 AM
Kieth, thank you for reading and commenting and sorry for the slow reply.
The thrust of this was supposed to be about the narrator wanting to be somewhere else. I thought I could keep it simple, that the contrast between Barcelona and the Alabama gulf coast would be enough. If not, I'm thinking maybe I could add a second stanza that includes imagery of where he longs to be, then maybe the repetition of "and dream of Barcelona" would be sufficient. Or I could include a bit of Barcelona imagery following that -- just something succinct. I'm just going to have to work through it. I'm glad the rest of it worked for you -- that gives me incentive to make this work.
Cheers
The thrust of this was supposed to be about the narrator wanting to be somewhere else. I thought I could keep it simple, that the contrast between Barcelona and the Alabama gulf coast would be enough. If not, I'm thinking maybe I could add a second stanza that includes imagery of where he longs to be, then maybe the repetition of "and dream of Barcelona" would be sufficient. Or I could include a bit of Barcelona imagery following that -- just something succinct. I'm just going to have to work through it. I'm glad the rest of it worked for you -- that gives me incentive to make this work.
Cheers