10-25-2014, 09:40 PM
The tones still feels off. It feels more formal up until the last two lines. They also leave me hanging a bit like, "over any other day" with who or what or where?
I'm also thinking art can be challenging, frustrating, and a lot of it does come out of pain. So maybe the initial idea was sound -- if not how it was worded -- but you would somehow need to introduce the duality or contrast of pleasure/good vs. pain etc. earlier. It's a tough one -- defining art even in terms of how you feel about it is a pretty tall order.
I'm also thinking art can be challenging, frustrating, and a lot of it does come out of pain. So maybe the initial idea was sound -- if not how it was worded -- but you would somehow need to introduce the duality or contrast of pleasure/good vs. pain etc. earlier. It's a tough one -- defining art even in terms of how you feel about it is a pretty tall order.