Virginea Wolfed '65
#10
(10-17-2014, 04:36 PM)tectak Wrote:  Virginea's soul was crammed in to her eyes;
she cried because her body she despised.
Young lust her drug, an easy pill to swallow.
Today she's mine...she's anyones tomorrow.

From archives. tectak 1965
Apologies to Barbara Streisand
Tom, ugh. I looked up to verify the forum. What are you doing? Punctuation errors, cliches, this isn't like you.

This just feels like a forced mess. If you're going back through the old stuff to see if it can be updated I'd focus on the idea your briefly touch on in L4. In what way do the famous belong to us? There's something there you could work with.

Sorry I didn't see much more.

Best,

Todd
The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson
Reply


Messages In This Thread
Virginea Wolfed '65 - by tectak - 10-17-2014, 04:36 PM
RE: Virginea Wolfed '65 - by billy - 10-17-2014, 07:07 PM
RE: Virginea Wolfed '65 - by tectak - 10-18-2014, 12:23 AM
RE: Virginea Wolfed '65 - by billy - 10-18-2014, 12:33 AM
RE: Virginea Wolfed '65 - by bena - 10-17-2014, 09:31 PM
RE: Virginea Wolfed '65 - by tectak - 10-18-2014, 12:29 AM
RE: Virginea Wolfed '65 - by ray - 10-18-2014, 01:01 AM
RE: Virginea Wolfed '65 - by tectak - 10-19-2014, 12:02 AM
RE: Virginea Wolfed '65 - by arbitraryarmor - 10-21-2014, 08:14 PM
RE: Virginea Wolfed '65 - by tectak - 10-22-2014, 04:34 PM
RE: Virginea Wolfed '65 - by Todd - 10-22-2014, 04:38 AM
RE: Virginea Wolfed '65 - by tectak - 10-22-2014, 05:38 AM



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)
Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!