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#5
It's quite well composed, I must say. Aside from a few wording issues already touched on, there's really not much to say. Perhaps change "blanket" to "cover" for the first line? Blanket is a more positive term with light connotations; perhaps 'obscure' or even 'cover' would fit better.
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Messages In This Thread
Help - by Willpark - 10-15-2014, 09:46 AM
RE: Help - by Anonymous - 10-15-2014, 03:35 PM
RE: Help - by stevesteve - 10-17-2014, 11:20 PM
RE: Help - by billy - 10-18-2014, 12:31 AM
RE: Help - by arbitraryarmor - 10-20-2014, 09:37 PM
RE: Help - by phacade - 10-21-2014, 03:13 AM
RE: Help - by Carlos - 10-24-2014, 05:35 AM
RE: Help - by Amitey Blyss - 10-25-2014, 01:54 PM



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