The Onset of Winter

The Onset of Winter

vanilla
Unregistered

10-19-2014, 11:35 AM

I love the wording of the first two lines. The one part that I found could use a little work is the "violently his vast being rages"--I feel that the "violently" is already shown in the ripping of the flesh. Amazing job, though

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Messages In This Thread

The Onset of Winter - by Jae Mc Donnell - 10-19-2014, 11:21 AM

RE: The Onset of Winter - by vanilla - 10-19-2014, 11:35 AM

RE: The Onset of Winter - by Jae Mc Donnell - 10-20-2014, 02:20 AM

RE: The Onset of Winter - by Owl - 10-19-2014, 03:20 PM

RE: The Onset of Winter - by Jae Mc Donnell - 10-20-2014, 02:23 AM

RE: The Onset of Winter - by crow - 10-20-2014, 01:44 AM

RE: The Onset of Winter - by Jae Mc Donnell - 10-20-2014, 02:27 AM

RE: The Onset of Winter - by crow - 10-20-2014, 01:46 AM

RE: The Onset of Winter - by Jae Mc Donnell - 10-20-2014, 03:26 AM

RE: The Onset of Winter - by coy - 10-22-2014, 12:15 PM

RE: The Onset of Winter - by J.M.Byrnes - 10-25-2014, 02:44 AM

RE: The Onset of Winter - by azure - 11-20-2014, 01:39 AM

RE: The Onset of Winter - by paranoid marvin - 11-20-2014, 02:18 AM

RE: The Onset of Winter - by billy - 11-20-2014, 06:12 PM

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