10-18-2014, 08:40 AM
(10-15-2014, 04:25 PM)cidermaid Wrote: First off- loved the title.Hi AJ Thanks for posting your comment, I agree totally with your comments and I made some changes. Thanks Best Keith
(10-15-2014, 08:02 AM)Keith Wrote: Spiderling balloonistAll the best AJ.
floats gossamer over the ocean Not so convinced about this line. Love gossamer as a word - the reast of the line does not live up to the rest of the poem imo, but the image is great.
wonders if the earth is flat. Think this line could be pruned wonders - Is the Earth flat. (the thoughts could be in italics but not nessasary for my read).
If your undies fer you've been smoking through em, don't peg em out