10-18-2014, 01:01 AM
I'd suggest removing was from the first line altogether and putting it in the 2nd line where the 2nd she is
Virginea's soul crammed in to her eyes;
she cried because her body was despised.
I like the last line. Should it be anyone's?
Virginea's soul crammed in to her eyes;
she cried because her body was despised.
I like the last line. Should it be anyone's?
Before criticising a person try walking a mile in their shoes. Then when you do criticise that person, you are a mile away.... and you have their shoes.