10-17-2014, 11:38 PM
I agree with much of the previous commentary. The first two lines are a contradiction and while there may be meaning there, it's pretty ambiguous. I think the blemish image is intriguing but that after you introduce it you don't take it any farther. I see what you're getting at with it but you could use the rest of the poem to really expand upon it. The last 4 or 5 lines could be redone in a way that wouldn't damage your initial images, which are the driving force of the poem, and expand upon them in a more creative way. Keep it up!