10-15-2014, 04:32 PM
(10-15-2014, 08:53 AM)oceanwanderer20 Wrote: Call from the NightI enjoyed this poem, as it is open to many interpretations; I am almost sure it is not meant to be taken literally. Some possible conclusions running through my mind include mental illness (schizophrenia), a deceased lover, or thoughts of suicide. Thanks for a fun and thought-provoking read!
The darkness beckons
silently in the silky night air. Love these first two lines! Eerie and haunting mood setter!
Enveloping her body in a cloak,
hugging her as an old friend.
He whispers words into her ear: This pronoun might trip some up upon first read, but it's meaning is elucidated by the end of the poem
escape, bliss, wonder.
And she thinks about going with him.
She wonders what it would feel like
to see the shadows trace
the veins on her arms.
To feel frigid adrenaline i wouldn't associate the energy of adrenaline with the cold, that's just my opinion
pump through her blood:
Dark, cold, comforting.
And she thinks about going with him. i don't have any other complaints regarding this stanza
He tells her of his years;
How he hides in the night.
And she thinks it seems nice
To be submerged in the calm.
Loneliness chimes in: love this descriptor
Offering peace, tranquility, freedom.
And she thinks about going with him.
But dawn breaks and darkness cries.
She fears of losing her companion
But something tells her to stay. using the word "something" instead of going in depth seems like a cop-out here.
She hears a soft murmur in her ear:
I love you.
Darkness runs away.

P.S. Why for the first two stanzas did you use proper capitalization, and in the last two stanzas capitalize the first word in every line?
I prefer to be as forgettable as possible.

