10-13-2014, 05:51 PM
Hi wjames - thanks for the comments.
This one is definiatly missing the mark in terms of making any connects.
I will have a think about your comments. I think you are right about the overly long sentance, that needs addressing. Not so sure I can live without all of ST2.
I am actually thinking it is the title that might need some work. (In truth the idea was taken from another poem and I really wanted to steal that title "Why old people are grumpy" ... I suppose I could call it:- Why I am grumpy!)
The daylight savings thing and most of St2 are rooted in the ideaof time stealing vigour and youth from us. The sting of remembering the things of youth only after it is all used up)...perhaps another title could be "Youth is wasted on the young"
Thanks for stopping by
AJ.
This one is definiatly missing the mark in terms of making any connects.
I will have a think about your comments. I think you are right about the overly long sentance, that needs addressing. Not so sure I can live without all of ST2.
I am actually thinking it is the title that might need some work. (In truth the idea was taken from another poem and I really wanted to steal that title "Why old people are grumpy" ... I suppose I could call it:- Why I am grumpy!)
The daylight savings thing and most of St2 are rooted in the ideaof time stealing vigour and youth from us. The sting of remembering the things of youth only after it is all used up)...perhaps another title could be "Youth is wasted on the young"
Thanks for stopping by
AJ.