A Nap With The Gods

[Word Weaver]

Hi, WW, this had its highs and lows for me.  While I enjoy a google or two in a poem, as a reader uneducated in mythology the references were on overload for me, I would have preferred some of them replaced with simpler language. But that's just me, , here are some notes. - I was hoping my title was a forewarning.  BUT you learned something new, didnt you? Not to seem defensive, just for reasoning's sake, a reader, uneducated in mythology who might  happen to read this piece, might do only one of two things, one, an instant disinterest/dislike or two, be challenged to delve deeper- hoping it is the latter, my aim is to entertain and educate, like water and oil difficult to mix, more so to master, still  in constant trial and error ...

Aloft the breath taking steep  of smaragdine 
Suspended on a knotted twine, A strong, interesting image, but I don't really understand what it's doing here.
Harp strings in whisper, Effective creation of the sound.
strikes a chord with my murmuring thoughts, "Strike"? Murmuring thoughts strikes me as cliche. - "humming thoughts" was my  first choice to go with the musical background, too cliche, "gnawing" was trashed, "murmuring" was the softer uttering thought, so I used it, on the basis that cliches are not too bad if used sparingly, however, inspired by your insight-  what do you think of " mythos thoughts"? since I am already at it,  with my mythological jabs ....
releasing a wearied sigh.

Musing  into a foreign time, 
of Never-a -care and  Eirene.

A start!
Dazed, from the yawning arms of Somnus' son, I like the sound and image of "yawning arms".
winks, laced in sweet amnesia, 
belies nothing but a hint of sand, Belie?
and tracings of honeyed kisses, 
impassioned upon my lips, 
my arm and hand.
There's something wrong with so many commas here. I'm not sure how best to fix it but you may want to rethink the punctuation. -for some reason, Ive become punctuation challenged, the comma being the most misplaced antagonist, Im really trying to curb it...



'twas  the briefest slip-away,
 a visit with Pasithea, 
a sip from Hebe,
a moment of evanescence, 
Ambrosia to my essence.

Thanks for posting this, it's different from what I usually read and was a challenge.

Hi Ellajam, Thank you so. You've been very insightful and I'm inspired to tidy up the mess... hopefully, for the better May I share it with you when Im done? Best regards, Kate