To Fall Asleep

[chanchan77]

Hi! I'm new to the site and poetry in general so my critiquing might not be great sorry..

As I drift away,
You watch my closed eyes;
You wait for them to open.

I'm lost in the gray, <-- Don't really get these lines either, could change
Not so distant skies; <--|
Your watch remains unbroken. <-- I like how you repeat the meaning of the last 2 lines it shows how the person watching is so   determined to have you again.

And perhaps somebody told you
I'm vagabond in chains;
If I disappear on a breeeze,
I'll soon be back again.

But I will not stay forever,
I will be only passing by.
You know I'm the kind of lover
Who must always say goodbye.

Our juncture is an ephemeral touch,
As my effects acquaint your luggage rack.
It will be up to you to let me go,
Kissing me softly on my naked back.<-- This is probably my favorite line, shows that the love is raw and delicate

About my second note, about the person watching you, I think you should stress that more and add in more lines about them waiting.

Anyway sorry if this is dumb this is like my first critique and I have no clue what I'm doing. I'm mainly just pointing stuff out that I noticed or made me feel something!