10-09-2014, 12:37 PM
Since this is the mild critique section, I won't go into too much detail. A few points to note:
1- For such an emotionally heavy subject, simply telling readers what you feel is not enough. Don't tell me the moon is shining, show me the glint of light on broken glass.
2- Avoid cliches. While the subject is personal to you and, once again, emotionally heavy, it is something that has been done many times before. Pay more mind to the imagery you're trying to depict, and the words you use.
1- For such an emotionally heavy subject, simply telling readers what you feel is not enough. Don't tell me the moon is shining, show me the glint of light on broken glass.
2- Avoid cliches. While the subject is personal to you and, once again, emotionally heavy, it is something that has been done many times before. Pay more mind to the imagery you're trying to depict, and the words you use.
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