medina mornings

[just mercedes]

Hi - lovely glimpse of a time and place, complete with sounds and smells. I've picked at a few things just to have something to say, so Todd doesn't tell me off for not doing a good-enough critique for the forum. You'll have to imagine the hilarious smiley here because I can't make it work.   Oooops -now I can.




The rural rug seller and the stern spice      I think rug-seller should have a hyphen -
stand man slurp mint tea, wipe their beards   also the spice-stand man, but that would ruin your enjambment
with gnarled hands, and settle to watch
the pitter patter of pedestrian traffic          can you watch a pitter patter? great alliteration
in the side alleys of the souk. Passersby pick       passers-by
their way to avoid the ablution runoff;       what ablution? they slurp, and wipe, not wash
till an Aussie gazelle bounds through         I can see her! good imagery
in waterproof sneakers and earbuds
during her daily dose of endorphins.         I read 'doing'
Her sunny hair and smile make                ' sunny smile' skirts the edge of cliche for me
friends with the slippered men,
and their days only feel right                  this construction feels a bit clunky - maybe 'their days don't feel right / until...' or something like that would be better
once she springs by.

I'm off down the alley to explore the antiquities shop ... thanks for posting this!