A Nap With The Gods

[ellajam]

Hi, WW, this had its highs and lows for me. While I enjoy a google or two in a poem, as a reader uneducated in mythology the references were on overload for me, I would have preferred some of them replaced with simpler language. But that's just me, , here are some notes.

Aloft the breath taking steep  of smaragdine 
Suspended on a knotted twine, A strong, interesting image, but I don't really understand what it's doing here.
Harp strings in whisper, Effective creation of the sound.
strikes a chord with my murmuring thoughts, "Strike"? Murmuring thoughts strikes me as cliche.
releasing a wearied sigh.

Musing  into a foreign time, 
of Never-a -care and  Eirene.

A start!
Dazed, from the yawning arms of Somnus' son, I like the sound and image of "yawning arms".
winks, laced in sweet amnesia, 
belies nothing but a hint of sand, Belie?
and tracings of honeyed kisses, 
impassioned upon my lips, 
my arm and hand.
There's something wrong with so many commas here. I'm not sure how best to fix it but you may want to rethink the punctuation.

'twas  the briefest slip-away,
 a visit with Pasithea, 
a sip from Hebe,
a moment of evanescence, 
Ambrosia to my essence.

Thanks for posting this, it's different from what I usually read and was a challenge.