10-07-2014, 12:43 AM
The imagery is nice, especially "cumulus green", however I felt like you were trying to say something or get something across that I wasn't able to grasp. At first I thought you might just be describing a beautiful scene, but you lost me with "I swept the rooms; in the woods nearby". The contrast between man/nature is evident, and I like how you juxtapose your appreciation for nature with a desire to keep it at bay.
the landscape
drew cumulus green;
the full moon shattered,
falling in the dark night,
its pale glow
fringed the head of trees,
fireflies
in the muted sky.
my backyard was outlined
by the frayed edges
of the moon, its ghostlike images.
I swept the rooms;
in the woods nearby
moss steadily crept
and consumed my backyard.
the landscape
drew cumulus green;
the full moon shattered,
falling in the dark night,
its pale glow
fringed the head of trees,
fireflies
in the muted sky.
my backyard was outlined
by the frayed edges
of the moon, its ghostlike images.
I swept the rooms;
in the woods nearby
moss steadily crept
and consumed my backyard.