10-06-2014, 01:29 AM
(10-05-2014, 04:31 AM)poe Wrote: I live in a wreckless void where (it's not a great line for a start, maybe you could leave out 'in a wreckless void')There are some good images in the poem and I liked the positive vibe at the ending.
faces grow on trees.
And down where
the roots eat soil (maybe a period here)
In my mind, I bury my toes in
her cool blackened earth. (maybe something instead of 'cool blackened' )
Smelling the fragrant dirt where
autumns sweet apples are
churned and displayedÂ
like a promise of something true.

