A summer's night (first draft)

[Lysander Gray]

A summer's night < although cliche, it sets the scene and is direct. Which is good.
Falling swiftly, like silk sheets swiftly/silk sheets nice sounds here
From the statue of time
Beneath its majestic sky "." full stop here. Who's majestic sky? If this is meant to be a spiritual reference or metaphor then perhaps add a line and revisit the concept to further cement it.

In the pasture of memories, I rejoice New stanza
The warmth and scent of grass swap scent and warmth around, or alternatively drop the 'and' it condenses the image into something tactile
Lift my spirit < "Lifts" also add a comma at the end here
It begins to dance
With the swirls of nostalgia
Who call the distant stars to join. Replace ''who'' with ''that'' I like the imagery and metaphor here, but where does the nostalgia come from? Time does not exist to stars and astral bodies, you need to personalise them for it to work

All in all I really enjoyed this piece, the imagery and sounds evoked show much promise. Don't be afraid of cliche's if you can use them properly, but if you are just beginning try to steer clear of them. Cliche's and stereotypes can be powerful, but theres a fine line between self awareness and proper use within coloquialism etc. and it falling to pieces.

I hope this helped!