10-04-2014, 12:50 AM
I have grown to like the title -- and the poem -- for its solid metaphor.
Generalizing 'breachcoming' to 'searching' then applying that to the couple
-- to the reader as well -- learning about their relationship. Maybe we're
seeing the man learning about the woman, maybe it's an older relationship.
Observing the couple's differences, where on the range from toleration,
to acceptance, to admiration do these fall (I'd say admiration). All that
good stuff
adds interest to a visually beautiful poem.
One last thing:
Do you want that goddess possessive to be goddess' or goddess's ?
The first is much more common nowadays. While the other isn't wrong,
it may distract some readers who think it is.
Generalizing 'breachcoming' to 'searching' then applying that to the couple
-- to the reader as well -- learning about their relationship. Maybe we're
seeing the man learning about the woman, maybe it's an older relationship.
Observing the couple's differences, where on the range from toleration,
to acceptance, to admiration do these fall (I'd say admiration). All that
good stuff
adds interest to a visually beautiful poem.One last thing:
Do you want that goddess possessive to be goddess' or goddess's ?
The first is much more common nowadays. While the other isn't wrong,
it may distract some readers who think it is.
a brightly colored fungus that grows in bark inclusions