Before the White Boards

[Keith]

You don’t forget a covalent bond  I like the first line but there seems something awkward rhythmically speaking in this first stanza
when pupils are dressed as beach balls,
and tectonic plates are easy to grasp
when desks divide a continent.

But Billy Bentham  this stanza is much better rhythmically speaking
had a pub lunch
and came back with greasy lips,
ready to burst and beat the shit
out of any would-be noise maker,
rule breaker, I wasn't a chance taker.

So I sat and watched
the playing field crows
meeting at the murder.
Dodging the borrowed shorts brigade
skulking off for a bike shed smoke,
with pale legs and black plimsolls,
a flat footed 1500 meter cough.

Others went to Malham cove
so they could recall a limestone pavement,
categorise real rock samples, categorize
with home made hammers,
too precious to throw away
like the memories they still keep,
nearly thirty years later.

But Billy Bentham had a bulbous nose,
riddled with tiny red veins,
each one swimming in whiskey,
the fumes were monotone
that killed inflection,
dictated daily from a syllabus bed time book.
He was easily mistook, Maybe no comma here... I'm not sure
for a teacher.  This ending seems a little sharp considering the flow of the rest of the poem. I am sure you could make one just as impacting... maybe a little longer

Overall a very interesting a fun read

Hi BenjaminShaw
I will have a look at the stanza's you highlight, not sure I have a solution for the opening but your comments are helpful, thank you for taking the time, best Keith