beachcombing

[cjchaffin]

beachcombing*

At high tide, the sea spews forth -- "spews forth" is ever so slightly leaning towards cliche... how would you feel about "ejects" or something similar? (I only suggest "ejects" because it ties the sounds in this line and the next together)
green foam and glass fishing floats.
 
We wait for the waters to recede,
tiptoe around anemones and crabs -- personally I'd stick a semi-colon here and get rid of "until I" in the next line
until I spot a small celadon orb.
 
She says it belongs to a Japanese goddess,
her eyes plucked out by a vengeful lover
and cast into the deep.
 
I see nothing more -- this strophe is a little wordy -- perhaps "I see only/ a recycled old..."?
than a recycled old sake bottle
etched with sand and netting patterns.
 
Tomorrow, I will look for agates
while she searches for the goddess’s other eye.  -- wonderful close



*not really tied to the title, in fact i hate it but can't think of anything better. suggestions?

I quite like the title, although "jetsom" came to mind as well. 

thanks Leanne. great suggestions. original title was "flotsam and jetsam" but i scrapped that for "beachcombing" i dunno though. i'll think on it. thanks again!