Thank You

[StanleyZ]

This is to you who shone first light, then slapped  breath into  quivering lungs
and to the host who gathered gladly round my birthing bed, chattering
in mists of early life; not words so much as comfort of another kind.
Yes,you too, now gone from me, who held me warm and suckled me;
such early memories are not what brings your love to mind…no,
it is the years that came and went when  knees were grazed
and fingers burned and ankles sprained...you were there then.

I never knew the boy who spat, I envied him but found out that
he hurt his sister, spurned his mother, robbed and stole from others
yet not from me. Thank you, I learned a lot from you…what not to do.
If friends are made  he part-made me, he would not be what I became
so gratitude is not an option; I never fell in empty places, with no one round
to pick me up. He died, I heard, in some dire place…a prison they called life.

My life was always peopled places. I ought to mention kids and comrades,
pressed together knee by knee, chanting in some tribal tempo, esoteric truths.
And how you laughed that day I stammered, du-did you ever know I loved you?
That was how it all began, and though I looked your way and saw the sun
flash on all the time-smoothed  desk-tops...it was not half as bright as you.

We never kissed, but kept a grain, a seed of what the growing change
would bring us to. A long time passed and here I am. The blossom opens
only once in every life and in the petal's rose-pink hue I still remember you.

So thank you for that ill-timed laugh; humility and strength resulted or
was it something more than that? Love must be learned and you
were my first lesson. Sadness is the next emotion; yet for us both,
as wisdom widens, I hope that I will now and then be in your thoughts.

To all the con-men, policemen, preachers, teachers, liars, leeches, lovers,
stabbers, grabbers, drugged-up beggars, magistrates and reprobates,
fighters, biters, doctors, lawyers, wives and women, foes and firemen,
desperate friends, successful, too, who made me what I am…
you all are in me. Thank you.

Tectak
2014

A contra-view to the "If not god thing."

I think this is really great. I love the way you connect words together in a stream, it is very poetic. I just really like reading this. The diction in general is a bit easier on my brain part then the contrasting piece, which is a more appealing style to me, though it is admittedly biased for me to form an opinion around. I sense an almost Robert Frost influence here. It may not be basic meter, but the method is similar to me. The last stanza really wraps things up nicely, as the speaker refers to different people through out the poem, yet none of them are left out of the "Thank You". I don't really have any criticisms to provide on this, although I'm not sure how it contrasts with the other poem. This may be the more lofty approach to closure, but nothing here really shouts religion to me. The other poem was more clear in debating Science and religion, while this piece seems to be a reminiscence. As a reader contemplating the theme shared by both poems, I have to say this piece is more enjoyable in the resolution it provides to me on a personal level. It's the difference of asking myself "If not God then who?" or saying "we are never grateful enough." I guess I just rather count my blessings than question them.