09-30-2014, 07:12 AM
Dear Mamta,
Coming back to the haiku, I feel it doesn't have that cut that makes haiku of two parts...
e.g.
on the lawn
watered by my tears
new weeds grow
in reverse:
new weeds grow
watered by my tears
on the lawn
It might be an idea to find a new last line in the above example, as lawn is made almost made redundant by 'new weeds grow."
Perhaps Masajo Suzuki might be an inspiration with her love haiku. :-)
warm regards
Coming back to the haiku, I feel it doesn't have that cut that makes haiku of two parts...
e.g.
on the lawn
watered by my tears
new weeds grow
in reverse:
new weeds grow
watered by my tears
on the lawn
It might be an idea to find a new last line in the above example, as lawn is made almost made redundant by 'new weeds grow."
Perhaps Masajo Suzuki might be an inspiration with her love haiku. :-)
warm regards