When autumn (Edit 3)

[BenjaminShaw]

When autumn comes
the golden up-lit broad lands and leafy lanes, I really enjoy the beginning here. There are a lot of great images.
bejewelled with berries that have sucked the last
daylight saved hour from the sun, turn and dry out. with these five ending lines maybe you could sharpen up the punctuation, especially this period here: semi-colon?
Husks of their former glory, laid to waste
by sharp edged winds that pluck
the plumped out leisure and leave behind
the wrinkled lines of weathered haste.

Shrivelled back into a semi dormant state, swallowed Spelling error, but really no matter-- shrivelled is shriveled
by the shadowy degrees of a granite face,
that clocks the demarcation of daisy-chained
summer of grace, into bare branched veins;
gnarled and knotted by time; twists
of clouded memories, that bleed vaguely grey maybe no comma before the "that"
into the clear blue eyes of a spring sky.

When you see a winter solstice, do not ask why
it blazes and cuts through the paler shades; this is great
this is the stored up harvest,
trampled, crushed and aged.
It rages against the wasteful decay and thrusts
new shoots through the push of spring
to make one more summer of hay.

I enjoy your themes of rebirth and change... it has a hopeful sort of quality about it that makes me happy. A very good poem.
 
 
[/url]



[url=http://uk.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/]