Maturing

[Tiger the Lion]

Maturing


I fell in love today,
and like my poet friends advised:
I put my pen away. -- This is an interesting idea for a poem.


We can talk about it later.
It's too big to wrap in this paper -- I would get rid of "this" as it interrupts the rhythm.  You have two trochaic lines that rhyme. The resulting chanting sound is then interrupted by a terse last line which stops the reader abruptly. Something you may want to play with.
anyway.

pb 9-27

Thank you Brownlie. Those are some of the issues I'm working on. I'm having trouble posting edits with some of the glitches. - Paul