Why Old People Are Grumpy

[cidermaid]

Hi, I keep coming back to read this one but somehow I am not quite getting what I hope to find from this one - namely why i am so grumpy!  I get a strong link to war / history and how we say we won't forget but we do of course as the numbers dwindle, but then it feelslike this poem is not actually about this so my read becomes confused towards the end.
I like the brevity but think you might nee a further stanza to give this one a more direct link with the title.
(Also I must give credit and thanks because my read on this started the thought process ofr my recent effort...I'm grumpy because I am not beautiful like a spring day, my eyesight and the rest of my body for that matter is rubbish when it used to be pretty fab and i haven't got the energy to spring into action any more...I have a strong desire to go to sleep.  I used to feel repleate and satisfied with life, like the cool of a late summer's day...but all my fruit is shriveling up and gone to waste...youth is wasted on the young...and this makies me really grumpy!).

Why Old People Are Grumpy


Sentiments
will transcend
into legends   this this opener would bebetter as a flat statement.   Perhaps take out will.

or mere fiction,   not sure about the use of mere here.  (This stanza makes me think of old war films played at Christmas and easter.  combined with St 1 it works well i think.)
if it isn't
already.

But the loss
and grief
are real,

and the 'peace',
our ignorance
of history.   Again here and above with the war time image.   The cost and the sad replay of wars that keep happening because we are always blinded to our age and refuse to read our history books.  We say "peace peace when there is no peace"

No one left
to remember it
soon,         this Stanza is very poignant and works both as a image of the last soilder of a generation dying and also for the old generally who are left behind as their friends die.

Perhaps consider an extra stanza here to give me more on why specifically oldies are grumpy.

how cockiness   Don't think this is the right word here.  up untill this point your poemhas had an almost genteel voice...cockiness is decidedly uncoth and does not feel like it belongs..unless you were going for the whole purple hatted shock value thing  .
left everything
ruined.   like ruined as a close point / statement.   (This grumpy old woman is comming round to this thought!)

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