09-28-2014, 01:53 PM
Paul,
The first stanza is completely written in iambic, however you stray from that in the second, and it comes out somewhat choppy.
I can understand wanting the caesura at the end. However, a Tamara suggested about breaking the second line in two, it would also keep up the rhyme pattern that is established in the first stanza I think it would make S2 more solid.
Dale
The first stanza is completely written in iambic, however you stray from that in the second, and it comes out somewhat choppy.
I can understand wanting the caesura at the end. However, a Tamara suggested about breaking the second line in two, it would also keep up the rhyme pattern that is established in the first stanza I think it would make S2 more solid.
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.